Saturday, March 28, 2015

WeekEnder


Happy Alpha Proxima Day


Yes, it's Soylent's favorite holiday again. Time again  to counter the moonbattery of Earth Hour, which again for reasons known only to the Thermageddon Clergy, is celebrated on the half-hour--8:30 p.m. regardless of time zone--in much the same way Climate Changes is pimped without regard to science.But I digress.
It is time again to turn on every light and electrical appliance you can in the effort to outshine the other two stars in the trinary system. Turning off your mains and using that diesel generator will earn extra AlGore Points.


As always, idling road graders, dumps, backhoes, semis and locomotives all win points. Bonfires will again be judged on a sliding scale based on size and fuel toxicity--McGoo's barn razer and Harbqll's vinyl siding roadside inferno were near winners in previous years, and Lemur King would have placed well with the 100w LEDs--the ones that actually draw 100w--but he didn't enter that year. C'est la vie.
Remember: If it can't be seen from space, you're doing it wrong.
So send in your tales of awesome--with pictures, if you want full points. Go ahead, use the oven to heat the house while turning on the window AC. You can show the kids how weather fronts interact while giving the finger to the Thermageddon mongers--it's motherfucking science.
Speaking of which, Alpha Proxima Day also means it's time again to counter the EcoTard's  #SpokesSnooch used to lure hormone-addled boys to the cause, just as the jihadis do, with the 2015 Miss Carbon Come contest. Heather Carolin was our 2013 winner.
There were not enough nominees for a proper contest last year--so, SEND YOURS IN to soylentrefuge-at-gmail before, say, Wednesday and I'll post them all, and we'll vote. Here's a contender I stole from jeff over at A Nod To The Gods who looks remarkably like Heather Carolin...


Coincidence? I.Think.Not. Enjoy your holiday. Oh, that embiggenifies nicely, by the way.