So it's time again to turn on every light and electrical appliance on your property in an attempt to outshine the other two stars in the trinary system. As always, turning off your mains and using gas or diesel generators for power will earn extra AlGore points.
Now you veterans will recall that we retired both the Plume De Hansen and Frozen Flame awards a few years ago when the international minion review board decided that the guy who punked David Suzuki's Earth Day party with searchlights from a neighboring house could not be beat.
So this year we will award a new trophy--the Flame of Fucktardery--to the winner.
Again, idling road graders, dumps, semis, locomotives all get extra points. Bonfires, as always, are judged on a sliding scale based on size and fuel toxicity. McGoo's barn burner and Harbqll's vinyl-siding-by-the side-of-the-road were near winners in previous years. So send in your tales of awesome...and photos (more points).
And remember our credo: If it can't be seen from space--you're doing it wrong.
In the meantime, here is my nominee for the 2014 Alpha Proxima Miss Carbon Come contest...
Beam Me UP.
14 comments:
Idling locomotives is a double bonus - it'll drive the ecotwits up the wall, but it's actually more efficient than shutting them down. They're even designed to be maintained while running.
hmmm, i've got all this kerosene and a bunch of ivy i need to burn off.....
Do I get credit for setting the woods on fire on a regular basis? (I've got thousands of pics, if you need some as proof, but I don't like posting them online, since I work in a field replete with Regressives and who knows what they might do to try and get me fired.) I can guaran-dam-tee you that many, if not most, of the fires I light can be seen from space. :-D
Okay, BC, but can you set enough to make a Smiley Face or an FU design. I'm sure one of the Landsats would snap a pic of that for us.
Of course, they'd blame it on the Aliens. But hey, can't have everything.
I am hard at work on my photography project. The job of now
stacking 20 rows by 20 columns of pennies 25 high is bad
enough without my horny un-neutered feral Tomcat, but I
found a solution by covering the project with an overturned
drawer.
I am at 4,000 pennies as of now, and should be well North of
50% before I call it a night. But within a few days I will be ready
to snap some photos.
9,9996.5 cents to represent all of the Nitrogen, Oxygen and
other
trace gases. 3.5 to represent the evil CO2. The scale is
massive!
Here's my submission for the Miss Carbon Come contest.
http://guymanningham.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/caution-models-at-work-the-coal-miner.jpg
Dammit, SG! Now I'm gonna have to burn up a bunch of cute bunnies or orphaned three-toed, two-toned burrowing sloths attempting to create one of those designs! :-)
If you knew where I do my pyrotechnical work, you'd be able to zoom in using G**gle Maps or G**gle Urf and at least see some of the aftermath and, if you're lucky, some of the flaming going on. When I'm bored sometimes, I use them to browse around looking for fires. (You can usually spot them from the smoke plumes, then zoom in and see the actual flames.) ;-)
Leonard;
Uh...
"9,9996.5 cents to represent all of the Nitrogen, Oxygen and
other "
You might want to check your arithmetic. It's sort of traditional to place the comma every three digits.
But never mind, I applaud your effort! :)
-DV
I'm looking forward to posting that pic, Leonard. Send it when you can.
Not bad, Eric. Not bad at all.
Thanks for the reminder. I'll see how many tires I can collect before then.
Though I think the hoa nazis might have some issues.
--mech
9,996.5 cents. Sorry for the mistake.
The project is to graphically show
that CO2 does not exist in large
enough quantity to even make a
difference it temperature.
I hope to have it published on a
number of sites. Will see that
you get it!
Update on the project: I apologize again for the math error. It
was actually a typo. What can I say, I type like old people fuck:
slow and sloppy!
So here I am counting and stacking column after column of
pennies until I feel my fucking head is about to explode! The
current count is 6,500 out of 10,000. I should be done any
day now.
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