A Belated AGW Birthday Present: #SoylentRules!

Modesty is for people of modest abilities. 
Sound wisdom from a former editor of mine. Ergo, I will blow my own horn about some of my own wisdom displayed in the left sidebar -- the one that says climate scientists are "so incompetent that have to cheat to prove a circular argument."
Yesterday, that remark was shown to be more than just another example of my rapier-like wit. It was shown to be true...
"As well as having some basic statistical errors, Marotzke's study can be shown to utilise circular logic. This means its conclusions are unsound. Moreover, the stability of estimates for at least one of the two key structural model properties used is so poor that even were he able to rework the paper without the circularity--which appears to be impractical--it would very likely be impossible to draw meaningful conclusions. I think the authors have no scientifically-defensible choice but to withdraw the paper." 
Allow me to summarize: Bwuhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

QOTD on Weepy Bill Exiting As Chair At 350.org

"Bill--we shall always remember you as the guy who helped us to understand that environmental activism is what people do when they can't figure out a plausible way to pose as a member of a persecuted minority." -- Eric Worrall

AGW AssClown(s) Of The Week

I thought the flying birdshredders idea was the Parnassus of Thermageddon Monger idiocy--I stand corrected. In their never-ending campaign to convince the underinformed that Carbon Crucifixes are actually a viable alternative to fossil fuel-generated electricity, "scientists" have assigned them a new benefit--saving us from (AGW-created, of course) Hurricanes. Drink in teh stupid...

 "if it was feasible to build tens of thousands of wind power turbines off the shores of some of America’s cities most vulnerable to extreme weather, those cities would see lower wind speeds and less severe storm surges from approaching hurricanes."

 Well, as to that, if it were feasible, I'd have a 12-inch trouser snake and would shit 24-carat solid gold. And even if Santa Claus could grant this 70,000-windturbine wish--because #UnicornFarts--it, sadly, wouldn't generate the .3 TW the models project. The problem is...wind...

Not anywhere near hurricane-force wind, either. But hey, I can imagine something too--Imagine the wondrous benefits of toxic rare-earth metals from 70,000 birshredders washed into a major city by a category 5 tidal surge.
*You may say I'm a dreamer, but it's...*

H/T AOSHQ Sidebar

AGW Assclown Of The Week: Captain Carbon

Yes, AlGore hasn't made our list since he said it was millions of degrees just a few miles underground. But his latest 24 Hours of Insanity fest yielded this diamond of carbon reduction* among the routine rough of Ecotard excreta. Ten actions you can take to reduce your carbon footprint:

#9 -- "If online news is your preferred medium, choose an unplugged laptop or e-reader, rather than a plugged-in device for the majority of your browsing time."

Kevin Trenberth will now go hide at the bottom of the ocean with his missing heat.

*See what I did there?
H/T Tom Nelson

Assclown Mayor To Turn 9-11 Into AGW Scam Day

FuckYouFcukYouFuckYouFuckYouFuckYouFuckYouFuckYouFuckYou!

Yeah, nothing says remembrance like Ecotard slave labor you Fuckwad Asshole!

FuckYouFuckYouFuckYouFuckYouFuckYouFuckYouFuckYouFuckYou!

AGW Assclown Of The Week: Rush Holt

He says "Millions Will Die!!!" without a Carbon Tax. Of course, he's a libtard U.S. Rep. running for the Senate in New Jersey--where everyone knows Sandy was caused by AGW. See, he even has a super scary !!!Carbon Pollution!!! Chart for the Guidos.

Perhaps he should have used the Handy Dandy Thermageddon Widget from the Cato Institute. He could have learned that assuming the most alarmist temperature "prediction," if the US reduced it's EvilCO2Emissions to zero, we reduce AGW by...

Wow, 6/100ths of a degree Celsius in just 37 years.
Awesome, I can't wait to fight off the wolves and bears for cave space. Let's do this.

My Summation Of AGW In Advance Of God/King Obama's Edict On His Power To Change The Weather

Climate Scientists say arsenic will cure cancer.

Politicians want to tell voters they will cure their cancer.

Obamandias will force us to take the arsenic. 

FUCK YOU, YOU WASTE OF OXYGEN!

AGW Assclown & QOTD Winner: Chris Mooney

There is an argument that says he could be the winner every week, but hey, an English major who convinced guilty, rich Libtards to pay him as a "climate expert...?" It's remarkable how profitable a lack of scruples can be, but I digress. Here's what he wrote in (of course) Mother Jones:

"Fracking and global warming are different in one key respect: On fracking, the science is murkier and more contested."

Mooney's asstarded statement is inserted out of the blue amid his presentation of a thesis by a Yale researcher, which posits that "egalitarian communities"--the sophisticated, worldly Left--believe fracking is evil and will poison all our water, just like they believe AGW will bring about Thermageddon and roast us to Venusian cinders. Alternatively, "hierarchical communities"--the reactionary, troglodyte Right--think nothing of the kind. The paper's conclusion is the two groups have mirrored opinions on the two unrelated issues only because they are diametrically opposed to those of their political, ideological opponents, and the divergence, it claims, increases with the level of scientific literacy.

So let's look at Mooney's egalitarian, sophisticated scientific literacy--in just the above sentence. Anything further would require a tome of Proustian proportions.
1. Fracking science is murkier than global warming science. Bwuhahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Yes, the murky water activist farmers carry in mason jars claiming it was damaged by fracking--if contaminated at all--is fouled by animal waste (Per Penn State and EPA reports) because the majority of water wells do not have sanitary caps or lining. Curiously, here in PA multiple safety linings are required in shale wells. The technique has been in use throughout Texas, Oklahoma, even Colorado for 50 years.
2. Global warming, by comparison, was only cooked up by Maurice Strong in the late 1970s as a means to justify a global UN carbon tax. Based entirely on divergent and contradictory computer models, AGW theory posits that increased CO2 levels will drive up global temperatures by as much as 6 deg. Celsius, causing untold calamity.This theory will be proven by a tropospheric hot spot appearing above the tropics about five years ago. Oh, and the Arctic will be ice-free as of last year.
Well, while CO2 concentrations have increased in the last decade, temps have not. They have cooled for more than a decade. The hot spot has not appeared. Neither have the poles melted, sea levels risen 50 feet, nor have the tropical rain forests been charred into desiccated husks.
Clear as day.

H/T Tom Nelson

And The Fukushima Fuk U Award Goes To Sheldon Whitehouse

Some of you may recall, at the SiteThatShallNotBeNamed when I got a shitload of international traffic after lambasting the Grist writer who blamed the Fukushima nuclear disaster on Global Warming--via earthquake, of course because it's settled science--before people even knew if they'd lost family members.
So, when I heard about Oklahoma, I thought I'd wait a while to see which eco-tard scum would do it this time. I thought maybe McKibben...or Rohm. No.
They can't put a patch on the ass of Sen. Sheldon Whitehouse (D-ickwad RI.) who stood on the bodies of dead children within FIVE MINUTES of hearing that a tornado had destroyed their school, town and everything else in the 20-mile long scar it etched across the Oklahoma landscape just so he could Blame Republicans for causing the Thermageddon that caused the F4 tornado.

When cyclones tear up Oklahoma and hurricanes swamp Alabama and wildfires scorch Texas, you come to us, the rest of the country, for billions of dollars to recover. And the damage that your polluters and DENIERS are doing doesn't just hitt Oklahoma and Alabama and Texas. (Emphasis mine.)
 
Fuk U, senator. Mothers and fathers were still searching for children, spouses, pets where their houses, schools and towns were, and you, you lower-than-whaleshit motherfucker, you go to the well of the senate chamber and rail to no one--because everyone else was at least trying to find out how bad it was--blaming Global Warming on Republicans.
Fuk U.
Didn't you hear that the Supreme Court rejected trying to blame oil companies for Hurricane Katrina AGAIN, or that there's been no Global Warming for 16 YEARS. Haven't you noticed your familiars in the MFM slowly deserting the Thermageddon ship, some actually printing that climate sensitivity appears much lower than Hansen or the IPCC claimed.
Fuk U.
I know you wouldn't bother to actually look at the storm history for Oklahoma, southern Missouri or Northern Texas, but perhaps you've heard the term Tornado Alley. No?
Fuk U.
You are a fucking ghoul.

And The Thermageddon Assclown QOTW Winner Is...

Katherine Hayhoe, of Texas Tinfoil Tiara fame, for telling The Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists:

"As scientists, we're trained to just stick to the facts. With Climate Change, we can't do that anymore." 


Bwuhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

You can read more about the travesty of Thermageddon Mongers having to make shit up because the evidence doesn't support their pseudoscientific gravy train here.

Agw Assclown Of The Week: Michael Tobis

Yes, Mike 3.0 is back with more mind melting stupid. Responding to a dimwitted Republican legislator who conceded that even if man is responsible for 50 percent of the warming (measured since the little ice age, maybe?), it doesn't matter.
Mike's comeback...

"Most likely more than 100% of the warming is due to human activity."

Maybe he was going for the beer-guzzling stereotype 120-percent sports fans...who--as is understood by people who understand these things--are avid readers of Thermageddon hype.
Then again, maybe he's gone a little further around the bend. Didn't think it was possible, but more than 100% of the evidence says it is.