Just Three Shopping Days Until: Alpha Proxima Day

Welcome to Soylent's 6th Annual Alpha Proxima Day Celebration--The counter confrontation to Earth Hour, which again takes place on the half-hour this Saturday, because #Ecotards.
So it's time again to turn on every light and electrical appliance on your property in an attempt to outshine the other two stars in the trinary system. As always, turning off your mains and using gas or diesel generators for power will earn extra AlGore points.
Now you veterans will recall that we retired both the Plume De Hansen and Frozen Flame awards a few years ago when the international minion review board decided that the guy who punked David Suzuki's Earth Day party with searchlights from a neighboring house could not be beat.
So this year we will award a new trophy--the Flame of Fucktardery--to the winner.

Again, idling road graders, dumps, semis, locomotives all get extra points. Bonfires, as always, are judged on a sliding scale based on size and fuel toxicity. McGoo's barn burner and Harbqll's vinyl-siding-by-the side-of-the-road were near winners in previous years. So send in your tales of awesome...and photos (more points).
And remember our credo: If it can't be seen from space--you're doing it wrong.

In the meantime, here is my nominee for the 2014 Alpha Proxima Miss Carbon Come contest...

Beam Me UP.

Happy Alpha Proxima Day

Hope all the lights are on, bonfires are roasting endangered species, and Eco-tard heads are exploding. Don't forget to vote for Miss Carbon Come 2013.

 

You might want to embiggenify that. Just sayin'.

UK Celebrates Earth Hour By Running Out Of Fuel

Yes, the Pommies have achieve the Green Dream outlined by Eco-tards just in time for Earth Hour.
In the midst of the coldest spring in a generation, the Brits have 1.4 day reserve of natural gas.
Congratulations you can celebrate Earth Hour forever...freezing in the dark.

Alpha Proxima Day

Welcome to the first Alpha Proxima Day annual celebration warm-up here at Soylent Siberia. For those who weren't with us during the last four celebrations at WP, Alpha Proxima Day is celebrated opposite Earth Hour every March. Revelers vie to outshine the other two stars in the trinary system by turning on every light and electrical appliance available. 

And since we are dealing with the entire electromagnetic spectrum here, lawn mowers, weed whackers and gas/diesel generators also apply. Some fervent celebrants have been known to power their entire houses with a generator for added awesome. Speaking of which, idling semis, road graders, bulldozers or backhoes all earn extra Algor points for emissions.
Now some of you will recall that we retired the Plume De Hansen award last year after that vacationing Aussie punked David Suzuki at Earth Hour with blaring music and party lights from a neighboring house. But that's no reason to stop, because as Harvey at IMAO reminds us, it's way more fun when you have Eco-tard neighbors to celebrate with.
Not only that, this year may be among the best because we already have two outstanding Alpha Proxima Day stories. First, we have Canuckistani Eco-tards canceling Earth Hour because they ran out of other people's money. No really, I'm not making it up.

"The economic environment prevented us from securing sufficient funds in time to put on an event of the calibre worthy of the citizens of the City of Barrie and Simcoe County"

But not to be outdone, schools in Utah are already gearing up for Earth Day by celebrating with contest on The Awesome Of Fossil Fuels.

"Earth Day is April 22, and today is the last day children in Utah can send in their submissions for the state-sponsored Earth Day poster contest lauding fossil fuel production.This year’s theme is “Where Would WE Be Without Oil, Gas & Mining?” Last year’s theme was “How Do YOU Use Oil, Gas, and Mining?” The contest is literally made possible by fossil fuel interests. This year’s sponsors include the Salt Lake Petroleum Section of the Society of Petroleum Engineers and the Utah Division of Oil, Gas & Mining. Last year’s sponsor list was longer, including Arch Coal, Anadarko Petroleum, and Rio Tinto/Kennecott Utah Copper."

Bwuhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
Yeah, Utah's now done this twice. I can't decide which is better, the contest or ThinkProgress' reaction.

Finally, I am here to announce that, yes, we will be having the 3rd Annual Miss Carbon Come contest. Naturally, as past champions, 2011 winner Andi Muise...

And 2012 winner Kelly Monaco...

are eligible.
I will have my pole poll up between now and Saturday's celebration. Yeah, they have pills for that.
For reasons still known only to the Eco-tard hierarchy, Earth Hour is celebrated on the half-hour, from 8:30-9:30 p.m. EDT, Saturday, March 23.