Seven Lousy Snooches...A Rant

Well, I almost ended my fourth month at the new digs with a 4,000-hit day. But no...3,993 was the best I could do. Not bad I guess, but a far cry from the near five-figure days of yore. Seven lousy snooches...and it's your fault:

Yeah you, the hookah huffing haole from Hilo. WTF? Your connection time out while you ran out for some Primo? Put down the pipe, and get back to the snooch so the blood can start flowing to your brain.

 And You! Yeah, you, the slit-skirted strumpet from Singapore who'd rather be munching carpet. Shiv that pimp motherfucker and get back online.

Oh, and you cubicle cuckholds in Calgary--fuck your boss! Mandatory snooch breaks. I smell a sexual harassment lawsuit making your lives a lot better. Then again, that could be tuna. But I digress.

Yeah, and you NSA nosepickers? You've got quotas, right? Set the shit to auto-snooch and choke those chickens. This is as close you're ever going to get anyway.

So get your shit together...I'm watching you.