EUnuchstan Goes Full Retard: Pledges 20% Of Income To Appease The Thermageddon Gods

ICYMI over at Jo Nova's, the EU has decided it will burn 180 Billion euro- a-year on the altar of Gaia because the Guardian said if they don't, then...

The funny part is the EU isn't even bringing in anywhere near the extortion it planned from member states. It's probably not as funny as the Guardian piece either, which was hastily cobbled together in reaction to the hilarious fail of the IPCC Climate Kleptocrat Carbon Trade Show that saw host country Poland fire its own eco-minister during the conference and more than 100 other nations storm out when they learned they were not getting their Global Warming Reparations.
And as hilarious as that is, it might have to take a back seat to the Eco-Tard of the week, Richard Smith, who publicly takes off the mask and declares a Marxist revolution is the only thing that can #SaveThePlanet.

Marxists have never had a better argument against capitalism than this inescapable and apocalyptic “contradiction.” Solutions to the ecological crisis are blindingly obvious but we can’t take the necessary steps to prevent ecological collapse because, so long as we live under capitalism, economic growth has to take priority over ecological concerns.

That's right, the economic system that increased life expectancy four-fold will kill us all because there's just too much freedom going on here. Polio anyone?
Still, as entertaining as that is, I'm going with the Poles--that's just too funny.

Elevated From The Comments For Awesome:
Jay said...

Funny, every Marxist country I had the (mis)fortune to travel through back in the 80's to early 90's was an environmental shithole. Staring at the noontime sun in a cloudless sky through a thick fog of coal smoke that every building was burning for heat in Beijing, green wiggly things coming out of the water tap in Shanghi, fields where nothing could be grown due to heavy metal sludge in Poland, and let’s not forget the Marxist environmental masterpiece of Chernobyl. Yes, we need the Marxists to step in and destroy the environment to save the environment. Much like they step in and destroy people to save people.

And thanks for all the snooch.

AGW Assclown & QOTD Winner: Chris Mooney

There is an argument that says he could be the winner every week, but hey, an English major who convinced guilty, rich Libtards to pay him as a "climate expert...?" It's remarkable how profitable a lack of scruples can be, but I digress. Here's what he wrote in (of course) Mother Jones:

"Fracking and global warming are different in one key respect: On fracking, the science is murkier and more contested."

Mooney's asstarded statement is inserted out of the blue amid his presentation of a thesis by a Yale researcher, which posits that "egalitarian communities"--the sophisticated, worldly Left--believe fracking is evil and will poison all our water, just like they believe AGW will bring about Thermageddon and roast us to Venusian cinders. Alternatively, "hierarchical communities"--the reactionary, troglodyte Right--think nothing of the kind. The paper's conclusion is the two groups have mirrored opinions on the two unrelated issues only because they are diametrically opposed to those of their political, ideological opponents, and the divergence, it claims, increases with the level of scientific literacy.

So let's look at Mooney's egalitarian, sophisticated scientific literacy--in just the above sentence. Anything further would require a tome of Proustian proportions.
1. Fracking science is murkier than global warming science. Bwuhahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Yes, the murky water activist farmers carry in mason jars claiming it was damaged by fracking--if contaminated at all--is fouled by animal waste (Per Penn State and EPA reports) because the majority of water wells do not have sanitary caps or lining. Curiously, here in PA multiple safety linings are required in shale wells. The technique has been in use throughout Texas, Oklahoma, even Colorado for 50 years.
2. Global warming, by comparison, was only cooked up by Maurice Strong in the late 1970s as a means to justify a global UN carbon tax. Based entirely on divergent and contradictory computer models, AGW theory posits that increased CO2 levels will drive up global temperatures by as much as 6 deg. Celsius, causing untold calamity.This theory will be proven by a tropospheric hot spot appearing above the tropics about five years ago. Oh, and the Arctic will be ice-free as of last year.
Well, while CO2 concentrations have increased in the last decade, temps have not. They have cooled for more than a decade. The hot spot has not appeared. Neither have the poles melted, sea levels risen 50 feet, nor have the tropical rain forests been charred into desiccated husks.
Clear as day.

H/T Tom Nelson

Surprise: Another Scottish Wind Turbine Collapses Due To WIND

Yes, the Plover-Pureeing Carbon Crucifixes don't work when there's no wind, and when there's a lot, they crash to the ground--but they will still save the planet if we cover every square inch of arable land with them. This time in the Eco-FAIL occurred in Aberdeen.

It is The Scotsman's top story--knocking the custody fight over a sheep from the top of the page.

The landowner used a tractor with a digger attachment to collect the turbine blades on Wednesday. Neighbour Willie Mitchell, whose home overlooks Mr Anderson’s land, said: “It just goes to show how dangerous these things can be.

H/T Tallbloke via Tom Nelson

Attack Of The Crab Monsters!!!

That was one of my favorite movies as a lad because it had Russell Johnson--the professor from Gilligan's Island--in it. But other than reminding me of Tina Louise, it was pretty bad.

But apparently the Thermageddon Mongers thought it was a scary enough idea to blame on GlobalWarming©. I guess bird flu, plague and zombie apocalypse didn't cut it with the focus group.
So enter a willing Journolist accomplice to spew out this prose...

At UNC, marine geologists are analyzing video of the slaughter that took place when they put mud crabs and oysters in tanks they intentionally polluted with carbon over three months for a 2011 study. It was like watching lions tear apart lambs. 

The crabs scurried from their side of the tanks, banged on the shells of the traumatized oysters, pried them open with a claw in a way similar to what humans do with a knife at restaurants and gobbled them down. (Emphasis mine.)

And you could be next!!!

Unless you agree (or not) to live in fuel poverty, freezing in the dark eating only Soylent Green--we're doomed.

UPDATE--Elevated from the comments for Awesome: 
Chris said...

Crabs eating oysters? Crabs eat oysters. Crab be a oyster eatin' mutha fukka! Crab eat oyster in the mud, ya think salt water is an impediment?

Oysters traumatized cause some dumbass threw 'em in with the crabs!

CRABS EAT OYSTERS!!!

Now gimme money!

Scumbag Thief and Forger Says Freeman Dyson Has Ruined His Reputation

Peter Gleick--an admitted forger and thief, who should be in jail--says Freeman Dyson--who has Einstein's old job at the Institute for Advanced Study--has ruined his legacy by telling the truth about lying, self-aggrandizing "Climate Scientists."

Not only can't these guys read a thermometer, they can't spell hypocrisy.

H/T Steve Goddard for teh twit.

"Climate Ethicist": Anyone In PA Who Saved The Family Farm Via A Shale Lease Is A Killer

At least he said it in York, Pa., not in some classroom in Albany, NY or Sacramento, CA or Washington, DC. But that modicum of honesty was about all "Climate Change Ethicist" Donald Brown could muster, which begs the question: What are the ethical lessons of a presentation filled with outright lies?

Brown's argument relies on framing AGW as a moral issue because he can't mention the "science" that even the biased US media is finally starting to report as--at least--flawed. 
Brown's first mention of "science...?"

"U.S. emissions in Pennsylvania are causing floods in other areas," Brown said, but the mainstream environmental movement and the press do not raise awareness of this issue. Instead they operate within the debate framed by those who oppose action on climate change, he said. (Emphasis mine.)

That's right, no one--not even the "mainstream environmental movement"--will back him up on this scientifically baseless claim. But Brown has an out... 

It doesn't matter whether his claims are true, because if there's even a 16 trillionth of 1 percent chance that they might be, then we are morally obligated to act.  
So when he spews absolute bullshit like, "I argue that 40 years ago we had enough evidence to have the ability to act," he gets a pass for lying to the uninitiated--because it doesn't matter that 40 years ago the consensus was about an onrushing ice age--it only matters that he says he cares. 

And who might buy Brown's "ethical climate justice" tripe? How about an audience of religious students at the Lutheran Theological Seminary of Gettysburg? As I said, uninitiated.

He also, quite naturally, didn't tell this audience about United Nations Agenda 21's strategy to con Christians into pushing global environmental justice and unknowingly helping to shut down the American dynamo, and thereby ceding control to a UN-mastered government. 

Why not? Because Brown is The Agenda 21 Guy--program manager for the United Nations Organizations at the U.S Environmental Protection Agency.

So, of course, he didn't look at the morality of Lewandowsky and Cook faking an online survey to paint AGW realists as conspiracy kooks, or the craptastically false Marcott Hockey Stick, or the ethics of AlGore getting $500 million from Oil Sheiks for his Thermageddon TV channel.

Oh, but that reminds me, I was not entirely honest in my introduction either. Brown did tell the truth--about his agenda, anyway--one other time: 

"We will only solve this problem," he said, "when we have a social movement that demonizes the unjustifiable use of energy."

H/T Junk Science

The AGW Green Graft Chart Of The Week

(Click to embiggenify)

I put this up on Teh Twit after seeing it at hauntingthelibrary yesterday and then I thought, what the hell, you guys who didn't see the Fursday post could stand to have your blood pressure raised a little too. Because #caring. ;-)

From The Just-Call-It-Something-Else Playbook, How To Fool Neanderthal Republicans Into Supporting "Action On Climate"

Yes, by using a paean to one of the founding fathers, and a simple linguistic substitution, "Climate Communications Experts" have determined that you too can fool EvilGas&Coal©-loving Republicans into admitting pollution is bad.

Yes, someone actually paid theses "academics" for producing documentation of this stunning revelation. But they did it for you, and ForTheChildren©. 

Carbon pollution is fouling our air and our water, and harming our health. We should take steps to maintain the purity of our air and water. As Benjamin Franklin said, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Which best describes your feelings about this? (Emphasis mine)

See? You have them thinking about soot and ash, not invisible CO2--Republicans are so stupid. Now, just substitute one for the other and...

Our free-enterprise economy only works properly when individuals and companies are held accountable for harm that their actions cause to unconsenting people or the country as a whole. Companies that release heat-trapping pollution into the air should be accountable for those costs. Which best describes your feelings about this?

Voila, "60 percent of the respondents supported climate action." They're too stupid to remember we did this before changing Global Warming to Climate Change, then to Global Climate Disruption to Global Weirding.

Don't try to use science--with the Hockey Stick shown to be even more fraudulent than before, none of the predicted sea level rise, no tropospheric hot spot as predicted, and no Global Warming for at least 16 years--you can't win.

Use semantics--because Republicans are stupid.

H/T Tom Nelson

Fisker Hires Bankruptcy Lawyer, Still Wants $300 million In Scamulus

They only make one product, the Karma, a $96,500 luxury electric sportster that only Elitist Eco-tards like Leo DiCaprio can afford to slake their vanity with. The company hired a bankruptcy attorney on Good Friday.
And even though it's burned through $1 billion already, and its latest speculative venture is to build the $55,000/copy Atlantic is with China, Fisker still wants the balance of its $529 million US DOE Scamulus loan guarantee.
Obamandias and Steven Chu were unavailable for comment.

Even the DOE Loan Program Office still touts the public benefits of taxpayer “investment” in Fisker, noting that the project would produce 2,000 permanent jobs, 17.4 million gallons of gasoline displaced, 154,000 tons of carbon dioxide avoided, and 30,000 annual cars off the road.

Actual results for the $193 million in taxpayer funds already flushed on this boondoggle...?

So as a result, some 200 employees in the U.S. are idled. This is a drop from 775 employees in February 2012, when Fisker lopped off 71 workers when its plans to build the Atlantic in Delaware were shelved. Forty more were let go late last year, and apparently another 100 were dropped since December. But again, multiple media sources have said no Karmas have been produced for eight months, and as of October only 2,000 had been sold.

Curiously, ultra-rich Karma owners DiCaprio, Algore and Justin Bieber were absent from the Bankruptcy announcement.

H/T Tom Nelson

Michael Mann Can't Read A Thermometer Either

Just experienced? There's been no warming for 16 years. Which two decades, Michael?
Perhaps the two right after the Laurentide Ice Sheet Receded? Certainly not the 4,000 years before then.  Oh, that's right, your hindcasting can't find that either.

H/T Tom Nelson

SciAm Dick Brain: AGW Fastest In 10 Years

Ah, yes--Retrograde Warming. How fucking stupid do you have to be? Find out here.

Alpha Proxima Day

Welcome to the first Alpha Proxima Day annual celebration warm-up here at Soylent Siberia. For those who weren't with us during the last four celebrations at WP, Alpha Proxima Day is celebrated opposite Earth Hour every March. Revelers vie to outshine the other two stars in the trinary system by turning on every light and electrical appliance available. 

And since we are dealing with the entire electromagnetic spectrum here, lawn mowers, weed whackers and gas/diesel generators also apply. Some fervent celebrants have been known to power their entire houses with a generator for added awesome. Speaking of which, idling semis, road graders, bulldozers or backhoes all earn extra Algor points for emissions.
Now some of you will recall that we retired the Plume De Hansen award last year after that vacationing Aussie punked David Suzuki at Earth Hour with blaring music and party lights from a neighboring house. But that's no reason to stop, because as Harvey at IMAO reminds us, it's way more fun when you have Eco-tard neighbors to celebrate with.
Not only that, this year may be among the best because we already have two outstanding Alpha Proxima Day stories. First, we have Canuckistani Eco-tards canceling Earth Hour because they ran out of other people's money. No really, I'm not making it up.

"The economic environment prevented us from securing sufficient funds in time to put on an event of the calibre worthy of the citizens of the City of Barrie and Simcoe County"

But not to be outdone, schools in Utah are already gearing up for Earth Day by celebrating with contest on The Awesome Of Fossil Fuels.

"Earth Day is April 22, and today is the last day children in Utah can send in their submissions for the state-sponsored Earth Day poster contest lauding fossil fuel production.This year’s theme is “Where Would WE Be Without Oil, Gas & Mining?” Last year’s theme was “How Do YOU Use Oil, Gas, and Mining?” The contest is literally made possible by fossil fuel interests. This year’s sponsors include the Salt Lake Petroleum Section of the Society of Petroleum Engineers and the Utah Division of Oil, Gas & Mining. Last year’s sponsor list was longer, including Arch Coal, Anadarko Petroleum, and Rio Tinto/Kennecott Utah Copper."

Bwuhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
Yeah, Utah's now done this twice. I can't decide which is better, the contest or ThinkProgress' reaction.

Finally, I am here to announce that, yes, we will be having the 3rd Annual Miss Carbon Come contest. Naturally, as past champions, 2011 winner Andi Muise...

And 2012 winner Kelly Monaco...

are eligible.
I will have my pole poll up between now and Saturday's celebration. Yeah, they have pills for that.
For reasons still known only to the Eco-tard hierarchy, Earth Hour is celebrated on the half-hour, from 8:30-9:30 p.m. EDT, Saturday, March 23.