Top O' Teh Twit: AGW Warrior Princesses

This response clinched it though...

Top O' Teh Twit

This is a few days old but it's still #RequiredViewing.

EUnuch Thermageddon Rules: Not A Bug, A Feature

Ferry engine breakdowns and fires, strandings at sea in the world's busiest shipping lane, collisions, loss of life--and all for just $79 more per ticket? Sounds wonderful, right? Well that's what the dick-smoking EUnuchs in Brussels think, because they've just ordered the Pommies to use shitty Ecotard fuel in their English Channel ferries that will do all those things.
And of course when traffic drops to a trickle, the shipping companies will also lay off thousands of workers.
But, on the bright side, they will all freeze in the dark this winter because they won't be able to pay their home fuel bills either--so, no net loss to the system.

Merry Christmas --the EU

H/T ANtzInPantz

#Shockface: People's Climate March Is Peopled With Communists

#Unexpectedly...

And in a typical display of cognitive dissonance...

How many CO2 munching trees died for this...? Well with countereffects like this...

*What difference, at this point, does it make?

Death By AGW..."Solutions"

If you embiggenify, you can see two men who were working on this 300 ft. carbon crucifix when it caught fire. No Peace Prize were indicted for their murder.

We Can't Find Flight 370 Because #Thermageddon

They really just can't see the stupid for the trees. Yes, Global Warming reveals its amazing powers once again.
I mean, the aliens who took that plane to the moon are laughing their asses off...at least, I think they have asses. Well, if not, Mother Jones obviously has plenty.
H/T The Daley Gator

AGW AssClown(s) Of The Week

I thought the flying birdshredders idea was the Parnassus of Thermageddon Monger idiocy--I stand corrected. In their never-ending campaign to convince the underinformed that Carbon Crucifixes are actually a viable alternative to fossil fuel-generated electricity, "scientists" have assigned them a new benefit--saving us from (AGW-created, of course) Hurricanes. Drink in teh stupid...

 "if it was feasible to build tens of thousands of wind power turbines off the shores of some of America’s cities most vulnerable to extreme weather, those cities would see lower wind speeds and less severe storm surges from approaching hurricanes."

 Well, as to that, if it were feasible, I'd have a 12-inch trouser snake and would shit 24-carat solid gold. And even if Santa Claus could grant this 70,000-windturbine wish--because #UnicornFarts--it, sadly, wouldn't generate the .3 TW the models project. The problem is...wind...

Not anywhere near hurricane-force wind, either. But hey, I can imagine something too--Imagine the wondrous benefits of toxic rare-earth metals from 70,000 birshredders washed into a major city by a category 5 tidal surge.
*You may say I'm a dreamer, but it's...*

H/T AOSHQ Sidebar

ICYMI--We're All Going To Fry #17,692

The top International Page story in today's Pittsburgh Post-Gazette--End Of The World Scheduled For 2047. It's actually from WaPo--because #TopStory--where the always hysterical Thermageddon Monger Seth Borenstein writes that some Hawaiian guy's computer models have created a timeline of climate we've never seen before, and use it to predict future unprecedented levels of things we've never seen before.

Unprecedentedly, the predictions are just far enough into the future that, when these calamities fail to materialize, few alive today will be around to not see the things we've never seen before--Genius!

I would like to congratulate Professor Psilocybin on elevating the argument from personal incredulity to the level of unfalsifiable "climate science." Astounding work, right up there with Peter Higgs.  

The Most Alarming Alarmist Alarmism For 2013

A few years back, our friend The Daily Bayonet ran a post featuring the Most Alarming Alarmisms Uttered By Alarmists during the previous year. Though he departed the hyperverse over a year ago, leaving us without his Weekly Global Warming Hoax Roundup--not to mention his Global Warming Hotties--his awesome should not be forgotten. So, given last week's release of the IPCC Summary For Policy Makers, it seems an appropriately timely time to revive his contest. The nominees are:

The Scotsman--Which printed this headline in July:
"A GLOBAL Warming Armageddon in which the oceans boil dry could theoretically happen on Earth, researchers claim"

Political Ghoul--Sheldon Whitehouse, D(ickwad)-RI, who waited a whole 5 MINUTES after an F4 Tornado leveled parts of Oklahoma City to blame Republicans for Global Warming:
"When cyclones tear up Oklahoma and hurricanes swap Alabama and wildfires scorch Texas, you come to us, the rest of the country, for billions of dollars to recover. And the damage that your polluters and deniers are doing doesn't just hit Oklahoma, Alabama and Texas."
  
Thermageddon Evangelist--Katherine Hayhoe, who in May, actually told the truth:
"As scientists, we're trained to just stick to the facts. With Climate Change, we can't do that anymore."

Former UK Thermageddon Hack--John Ashton, who told the MET Office in April that even if green house gasses had NO EFFECT on the atmosphere, they could still cause Thermageddon:
"The consequences of (CO2-driven) Climate Change could still be catastrophic even if climate sensitivity were zero." 

Vasectomy Guy--Eric Holthaus, late of the WSJ's weather page, who said he "broke down in tears" after reading the latest IPCC propaganda...and he'll probably get a vasectomy to prevent hurricanes.

Crying? There's no crying in science! Oh, wait. Yes there is, because what Most Alarming Alarmism fest would be complete without...

"Weepy" Bill Mckibben--Who though he's said a lot of idiotic things over the years, beclowned himself well enough in July to make WUWT's quote of the week with this:
"I, as you can tell, am the furthest thing from an activist leader. I'm a writer."

 

Granted, some of these are more alarming to the alarmists, and I didn't include reliable retards like AlGore because he says the same thing all the time. If you have an Alarmism I've neglected, stick it in the comments along with your vote for the best. Hey, I went off the board to win with Henry Waxman one year.

Oh wait. Did I say "Weepy Bill?" Why, yes. Yes I did...

Gotta Have a Global Warming Hottie, right?

Yeah, you can embiggenify that.

Frack Heads Epitomize Cognitive Dissonance

Everything this Brit Twit has at her Anti-EvilOil/GasProtest© is either directly or indirectly (smelted aluminum) produced from fossil fuels. Maybe she rode there on a hemp tricycle with wooden wheels.  
(Photo from Doug Ross.)

Best Thermageddon Scare Headline Ever: Oceans To Boil Dry

From The Scotsman. Check out this headline:

"A GLOBAL warming Armageddon in which the oceans boil dry could theoretically happen on Earth, researchers claim"

I guess they think "researchers claim" sounds better than "scientists say." I mean they could be sandwich scientists, right? But the best part is the sourcing...that's right, none.
Hell, when they wrote Batboy Attacks or Elvis and JFK Meet Space Aliens At The White House, the Weekly World News crew would at least make up a Dr. R U. Pullinmytit from the Estonian Research Society.
Apparently, after drinking enough whisky to think this one up, anything else was too much work.
How much do you suppose they'll have to drink to top it? More importantly, how can I help? ;-)

PS: Perhaps this is their source.

H/T Tom Nelson

Obama's Model Economy Nationalizes The Sun

Yes, Spain, the nation that took Green Economic Collapse to unheard of heights--or depths--has outdone even itself. By "Royal Decree" it has nationalized the Sun--and will fine anyone collecting their own sunlight.
"If you get caught collecting photons of sunlight for your own use, you can be fined as much as 30 million euros...If you were thinking the best energy option was to buy some solar panels that were down 80% in price, you can forget about it."
Bwuhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. So, how's the Spanish solar industry taking this?
"Of all the possible scenarios, this is the worst," said Jose Donoso, president of the Spanish Photovoltaic Union.
Bwuhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
Even better--it used to take 12 year to break even on a 2.4KW residential installation.* Now it will take 35 years.
Bwuhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

*Actually bullshit, because the panels don't last that long.

"Green Energy" Imbeciles Promote Dumbest Idea Yet: Flying Wind Turbines

I can just see these be-sandaled, pencil-necked, Thermageddon Gravy-Trainers musing by the pool-side bar at a tax payer-funded Global Warming junket, "Ya know, we need an even more wasteful way to kill more endangered birds."
Well the wait is over. Introducing the Flying Birdshredder!

Brilliant. The ones on the ground fly apart in high winds as it is. Yeah, lets put a bunch of potential scimitars up where the wind blows even harder. What could possibly go wrong?

And if you didn't think this idea was evil enough already, guess who just bought a company that thought up this FAIL.

My Summation Of AGW In Advance Of God/King Obama's Edict On His Power To Change The Weather

Climate Scientists say arsenic will cure cancer.

Politicians want to tell voters they will cure their cancer.

Obamandias will force us to take the arsenic. 

FUCK YOU, YOU WASTE OF OXYGEN!

Richard Windsor Wins EPA Ethics Awards

I. Shit. You. Not.
Only in a government this Orwellian...

“I like my fake employees to be of the highest ethical standards and fully up to date on the law and ethics of federal recordkeeping,” CEI's Chris Horner told the Washington Free Beacon. “At least someone there is.”

H/T AOSHQ Sidebar

Thermageddon Mongers & Totalitarianism

From the Ray Bradbury Department:

Yep, those are "Climate Scientists" from San Jose State University burning a book that casts doubt on their cash-cow pseudoscience. In case they tried to scrub the image they were stupid enough to post on the university website, Anthony has everything cashed.

Agw Assclown Of The Week: Michael Tobis

Yes, Mike 3.0 is back with more mind melting stupid. Responding to a dimwitted Republican legislator who conceded that even if man is responsible for 50 percent of the warming (measured since the little ice age, maybe?), it doesn't matter.
Mike's comeback...

"Most likely more than 100% of the warming is due to human activity."

Maybe he was going for the beer-guzzling stereotype 120-percent sports fans...who--as is understood by people who understand these things--are avid readers of Thermageddon hype.
Then again, maybe he's gone a little further around the bend. Didn't think it was possible, but more than 100% of the evidence says it is.

AGW Assclown Of The Week and Thermageddon Monger QOTD

This is so stunningly stupid, John Ashton deserves to win both awards, especially when you consider that he said it in a speech to the MET office:

"The consequences of (CO2-driven) climate change could still be catastrophic if climate sensitivity were zero."

So, even if GHGs had no effect on the atmosphere, they could still cause thermageddon. Why would anyone say something this weapons-grade stupid to a room full of supposed weather experts? Well, it might have something to do with the fact that he was the UK Special Envoy For Climate Change until 2012. 
Apparently there aren't a lot of those cushy gigs around since some people noticed there has been no Global Warming in 16 years. Regardless, this is...

H?T Tom Nelson

Surprise: Another Scottish Wind Turbine Collapses Due To WIND

Yes, the Plover-Pureeing Carbon Crucifixes don't work when there's no wind, and when there's a lot, they crash to the ground--but they will still save the planet if we cover every square inch of arable land with them. This time in the Eco-FAIL occurred in Aberdeen.

It is The Scotsman's top story--knocking the custody fight over a sheep from the top of the page.

The landowner used a tractor with a digger attachment to collect the turbine blades on Wednesday. Neighbour Willie Mitchell, whose home overlooks Mr Anderson’s land, said: “It just goes to show how dangerous these things can be.

H/T Tallbloke via Tom Nelson

Karma is a MuthaFucka

Well, bankrupt Fisker got the balance of its half-billion DOE Scamulus loan guarantee anyway Friday and immediately fired 75 percent of its employees. Oops...

According to the class action suit filed by Outten & Golden, in a California district court, Fisker failed to notify the employees 60 days in advance, violating the federal U.S. Worker Adjustment and Retraining Notification Act and a similar state WARN Act.

The same firm won $3.5 million for fired Solyndsa workers.
Bwuhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. 

H/T Tom Nelson