I've been wallowing in the bliss of despondency of late - crying into my ginger chai - wondering why yins have been so beastly to me of late. Calling me a "bitch" and lamenting my non-habitation of the kitchen. A kitchen wherein I was to be bare-foot, up-the-duff and preparing "sammiches". I am surprised that my genetically predetermined female lower-centre-of-gravity - making me the ideal gender to carry laundry and groceries - wasn't also mentioned. Then it dawned on me. An epiphany. A 6.5 mm epiphany even. I must admit, it wasn't exactly a crimson-crowned Zapruder moment, but very enlightening nevertheless. Y'all are just jealous! So jealz! Yins are quite simply covetous of my race. Genetic envy I reckon.
It's 'cause we Mongoloids have three copies of our 21st and you Caucasoids and Negroids only have a measly two!
Losers!
Personally, I am envious of the Negroids. They have no Neanderthal DNA polluting their unadulterated genomes - they are pure Homo Sapiens sapiens! They are the true Master Race! We Mongoloids are infected with from 1 to 2 percent Neanderthal DNA. This concerns me greatly, but I cope with frequent elective whole-blood transfusions and much strong drink. I feel quite sorry for the Caucasoids though, those melanin-challenged Gweilo lilies have from 2 to 4 percent Neanderthal DNA coursing through their more often than not visible veins - the Hammond Road Atlas cunts. The utter shame of it! Right? This little nugget of Neanderthal knowledge, by the way, sure explains the last 4,500 years of Western history though. Innit?
Jealz, ALTC? Not of BMEWS, we go way back to the earliest incarnation of Soylent--two column, grayscale generic header. You want real jealz--that would be the time I was linked by Jerry Pournelle. Of course, being part of the triumvirate that forced the cancellation of the Weblog Awards after getting RealScience voted a finalist for Best Religious Blog is my personal favorite. Ah, the old days.... Oh, yeah. I post some Asian Awesome at some point. Need to replenish the stash. Sushi only lasts so long.
BMEWS? Jerry Pournelle? Weblog Awards? RealScience?
Never heard of any of that shite. I am envious that you some how got yourself de-listed by Blogger, or whatever, that's all.
What about my two very clever bon mots above? I worked terribly hard on those - and all for you too! Hell, Allah knows there are no others around here who can fully appreciate my genius. I want acknowledgement of my genius and equivalent reciprocity or I am fucking off out of here faster than it takes your toadies to empty a 20 litre can of Astrogluide.
You know I've smoked a lot of grass O' Lord, I've popped a lot of pills But I never touched nothin' That my spirit could kill You know, I've seen a lot of people walkin' 'round With tombstones in their eyes But the SG don't care Ah, if you live or if you die
God damn, The SG God damn, I say The SG I said God damn, God damn The SG man
Re: 4:31 PM: I know, It's an albatross we Asians must bare. I hope this won't hurt, but, the chiquita-in-red is yours truly 7 years ago. I'm morbidly obese now - having caught obesity from an unprotected visit to the US of A in 2009 - so don't be wastin' the Astroglide.
Anonymous - aka - -DV at March 10, 2014 at 6:42 PM said,
"........"Bare" it if you must......."
You noticed that? Good for you! I thought it quite the clever homophone error - especially considering the indigenous flora and fauna one finds here 'bouts. Perhaps you are not as terrible a burden on your loved ones as I heretofore suspected?
Query?
Why did you choose to ignore my use of a mixed idiom? "It's an albatross we Asians must bear"? I would have thought, the bright and beautiful christo-cunts would have corrected me?
There is a good reason we Asians, generally speaking, are conspicuously invisible to Sir Mix-a-lot - his anaconda don't want none!
".....Quite attractive really...on the outside......."
But...... But........ Yins is a Yankee, -DV (Dentata Vagina?), is that not all that matters?
17 comments:
Okay, I'm fully motivated now.
Dear oh dear!
http://www.barking-moonbat.com/index.php/weblog/comments-editor/18981/
Really?
I am so jealz!
My blog has never been fuct by the Minions of Evil!
I hate you!
Speaking of jealousy...........
I've been wallowing in the bliss of despondency of late - crying into my ginger chai - wondering why yins have been so beastly to me of late. Calling me a "bitch" and lamenting my non-habitation of the kitchen. A kitchen wherein I was to be bare-foot, up-the-duff and preparing "sammiches". I am surprised that my genetically predetermined female lower-centre-of-gravity - making me the ideal gender to carry laundry and groceries - wasn't also mentioned.
Then it dawned on me.
An epiphany.
A 6.5 mm epiphany even.
I must admit, it wasn't exactly a crimson-crowned Zapruder moment, but very enlightening nevertheless.
Y'all are just jealous!
So jealz!
Yins are quite simply covetous of my race.
Genetic envy I reckon.
It's 'cause we Mongoloids have three copies of our 21st and you Caucasoids and Negroids only have a measly two!
Losers!
Personally, I am envious of the Negroids. They have no Neanderthal DNA polluting their unadulterated genomes - they are pure Homo Sapiens sapiens! They are the true Master Race!
We Mongoloids are infected with from 1 to 2 percent Neanderthal DNA. This concerns me greatly, but I cope with frequent elective whole-blood transfusions and much strong drink. I feel quite sorry for the Caucasoids though, those melanin-challenged Gweilo lilies have from 2 to 4 percent Neanderthal DNA coursing through their more often than not visible veins - the Hammond Road Atlas cunts. The utter shame of it! Right?
This little nugget of Neanderthal knowledge, by the way, sure explains the last 4,500 years of Western history though. Innit?
oh good, Cuddles is back. Been sniffing the crazy glue again?
Jealz, ALTC? Not of BMEWS, we go way back to the earliest incarnation of Soylent--two column, grayscale generic header.
You want real jealz--that would be the time I was linked by Jerry Pournelle.
Of course, being part of the triumvirate that forced the cancellation of the Weblog Awards after getting RealScience voted a finalist for Best Religious Blog is my personal favorite.
Ah, the old days....
Oh, yeah. I post some Asian Awesome at some point. Need to replenish the stash. Sushi only lasts so long.
BMEWS?
Jerry Pournelle?
Weblog Awards?
RealScience?
Never heard of any of that shite. I am envious that you some how got yourself de-listed by Blogger, or whatever, that's all.
What about my two very clever bon mots above?
I worked terribly hard on those - and all for you too! Hell, Allah knows there are no others around here who can fully appreciate my genius.
I want acknowledgement of my genius and equivalent reciprocity or I am fucking off out of here faster than it takes your toadies to empty a 20 litre can of Astrogluide.
You know I've smoked a lot of grass
O' Lord, I've popped a lot of pills
But I never touched nothin'
That my spirit could kill
You know, I've seen a lot of people walkin' 'round
With tombstones in their eyes
But the SG don't care
Ah, if you live or if you die
God damn, The SG
God damn, I say The SG
I said God damn, God damn The SG man
Nice offering for today, SG. The sheer is so much more enticing than plain skin :)
Ms. LC Aggie Sith?
What do you think of this fine specimen?
The one in the red swimming costume.
Desperation is a stinky cologne.
Dearest Critter,
No it is not.
It is an olfactory sensation!
Akin to (Apocalypse Now reference deleted)
Now disperation, that is indeed a stinky parfum.
And fuck off with yer shite idioms and cacophemisms.
I think you hit a nerve, Critter. :)
-DV
Oh! And the chiquita-in-red is rather deficient in derrieriness.
-DV
Dearest -DV
Re: 4:24 PM:
Are you that thick?
Re: 4:31 PM:
I know, It's an albatross we Asians must bare. I hope this won't hurt, but, the chiquita-in-red is yours truly 7 years ago. I'm morbidly obese now - having caught obesity from an unprotected visit to the US of A in 2009 - so don't be wastin' the Astroglide.
"Bare" it if you must.
Of course it's you; why else would you have posted it?
Quite attractive really...on the outside.
-DV
DV-
one of the many small services i provide. :)
Anonymous - aka - -DV at March 10, 2014 at 6:42 PM said,
"........"Bare" it if you must......."
You noticed that? Good for you! I thought it quite the clever homophone error - especially considering the indigenous flora and fauna one finds here 'bouts. Perhaps you are not as terrible a burden on your loved ones as I heretofore suspected?
Query?
Why did you choose to ignore my use of a mixed idiom? "It's an albatross we Asians must bear"? I would have thought, the bright and beautiful christo-cunts would have corrected me?
There is a good reason we Asians, generally speaking, are conspicuously invisible to Sir Mix-a-lot - his anaconda don't want none!
".....Quite attractive really...on the outside......."
But......
But........
Yins is a Yankee, -DV (Dentata Vagina?), is that not all that matters?
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